Sunday, June 02, 2013
Value of Money
We all understand and appreciate the value of money. But, money means different things to different people.
For me it is just a means to some specific ends. In that sense, money is important and valuable.
But, is it more valuable than relations? Can money be actually a reason for losing relations?
This I believe, is a very personal assessment.
There was a time when I would be aghast when someone would let a relation go by, not money. Over a period of time I accepted the fact that different people have different needs and point of view.
I derive my security from being me, someone derives it by having their loved ones around them and some by possessing money.
We all have heard that we don't take anything with us, all we would have in the end is the relations we have formed. The ones who value money generally have the opinion that if I have money I will have people around me. After all, like attracts like. Moreover, who has seen what happens after death.
Different point of views. I am happy with mine but it does not give me the right to force my point of view on any one else.
For me, money is valuable but relations are priceless! No one is asking me to change my point of view, then who am I to ask someone else to be like me!
It is also taught that don't judge anyone. Yet, we invariably end up judging people who value money more!
Why judge? Live & let live!
Saturday, December 01, 2012
Sexual Exploitation, Another Story!
Just a few days after I posted a blog on
Sexual Exploitation at work , I came to know of another story.
Strictly, technically speaking, it is not really sexual exploitation, but more of taking advantage of a situation. But, the point is, any experience with unwanted sexual undertones leave an impact on the woman's mind!
Coming to the story.
Due to the nature of my job, I keep meeting people from various companies. That day was no different and I reached the place of meeting at the designated hour. The lady I had to meet had recently joined and we got talking and hit off well. A meeting which was suppose to be a serious, formal business meeting turned into a fun, a bit of giggly affair between two girls!
The girl in question was really accomplished and I thought was under employed at her current position. So, I voiced my opinion and she suddenly became silent. I was about to apologise as I thought I may have crossed my line when she started talking. She conveyed that she resigned from her last company under not so happy circumstances.
She had become an eye sore for some colleagues (male colleagues) as she was doing well and was good at her work. Two male colleagues in her team took her performance a bit personally and started harassing her. Unnecessary snide remarks were made which made life difficult for her.
She complained to the manager but in vain. The manager was very pally to one of the two colleagues so shielded them and told this girl that she is imagining things. The male colleagues continued to be non-cooperative and made sexually loaded comments. This started affecting her performance and her morale. Her manager gave her a bad appraisal based on her performance of last 2-3 months. Her performance for the better part of the year was ignored as if it never existed. To make things worse, out of the two colleagues who were harassing her was promoted and she was asked to report to him. He actually had the guts to come to her and say, 'Let's forget the past and work together to be the best team in the company'. She realised that if she worked well, she can continue to be a star performer but that would also mean that the male colleague would gain & get credit as he heads the team. If she doesn't do well, she may face more such situations. Hence, she quit!
It may not have seemed like a good decision then but it all turned out well for her in the end and today she is doing very well for herself.
My point here is, she is getting what she deserved now where as it should have come to her earlier. Due to a sick mind she had to lose out on something which was truly hers!
Sexual Exploitation at work , I came to know of another story.
Strictly, technically speaking, it is not really sexual exploitation, but more of taking advantage of a situation. But, the point is, any experience with unwanted sexual undertones leave an impact on the woman's mind!
Coming to the story.
Due to the nature of my job, I keep meeting people from various companies. That day was no different and I reached the place of meeting at the designated hour. The lady I had to meet had recently joined and we got talking and hit off well. A meeting which was suppose to be a serious, formal business meeting turned into a fun, a bit of giggly affair between two girls!
The girl in question was really accomplished and I thought was under employed at her current position. So, I voiced my opinion and she suddenly became silent. I was about to apologise as I thought I may have crossed my line when she started talking. She conveyed that she resigned from her last company under not so happy circumstances.
She had become an eye sore for some colleagues (male colleagues) as she was doing well and was good at her work. Two male colleagues in her team took her performance a bit personally and started harassing her. Unnecessary snide remarks were made which made life difficult for her.
She complained to the manager but in vain. The manager was very pally to one of the two colleagues so shielded them and told this girl that she is imagining things. The male colleagues continued to be non-cooperative and made sexually loaded comments. This started affecting her performance and her morale. Her manager gave her a bad appraisal based on her performance of last 2-3 months. Her performance for the better part of the year was ignored as if it never existed. To make things worse, out of the two colleagues who were harassing her was promoted and she was asked to report to him. He actually had the guts to come to her and say, 'Let's forget the past and work together to be the best team in the company'. She realised that if she worked well, she can continue to be a star performer but that would also mean that the male colleague would gain & get credit as he heads the team. If she doesn't do well, she may face more such situations. Hence, she quit!
It may not have seemed like a good decision then but it all turned out well for her in the end and today she is doing very well for herself.
My point here is, she is getting what she deserved now where as it should have come to her earlier. Due to a sick mind she had to lose out on something which was truly hers!
Friday, July 02, 2010
Sexual exploitation @ work
Women across the world are familiar with this.
Many have had first hand experience & the lucky few have just heard stories. Sometimes, life throws you in tricky situations yet gets you out scratch free.
Recently, I came across the story of a girl who had a brush with sexual exploitation.
The story goes....
Anamika had recently joined the corporate world after her MBA. Like every other enthusiastic fresher, she plunged into the new world with full vigour & excitement.
Her job was client servicing & business development.
She, within few months had impressed her seniors with her diligence & work. Therefore, to encourage her & to use her potential to the maximum, the company gave her a very prestigious client to handle. All was going smooth & things were looking up for her.
One fine day she managed to get a big project from the high profile client. The head of operations at the client end seemed to be a nice & helpful person. He was very encouraging & that gave Anamika more confidence to push her companies case infront of the head operations. Anamika's hard work & diligence paid & she got the project. Her happiness knew no bounds.
But, the happiness was short lived. The coordination involved in the new project was very complicated & tiresome. Suddenly the client seemed non-cooperative. The client pre-poned the deadline of delivery & that put lot of stress on Anamika & her company.
With the help of the seniors in her company she devised a plan to workout the whole thing & deliver the project by the preponed deadline. The head of operations at the client end was kept in loop. Anamika had to go for an important meeting in relation to the project and that is when the head operations offered his help & said that he would accompany her to the meeting. This was a big help for Anamika as a man with so many years of experience would always add weight to her case.
The place of meeting was almost at the outskirts of the city, so, the head of operations conveyed that he would pick her up & they could go together in his car for the meeting.
At the designated time the head of operations picked her up and they set out to a long drive to the place of meeting.
Anamika was by now used to the constant frown & disapproving look from the head of operation but was in for a surprise today. She felt a sense of relief to see the smiling & chatty mood of the Head of operation.
The head of operation started asking Anamika about her life in the city & her background. Slowly his questions turned more personal and he started questioning her about her 'close' friends, boyfriends, her take on physical intimacy etc. She started getting very uncomfortable about the discussion but was unable to find a way to change the topic or express her discomfort/displeasure. Her non-decisiveness encouraged him further & he started talking about him & her and telling her that they should become 'closer' friends. He went on to add that he likes talking to her & would continue to 'help' her if she would agree to be his 'friend'.
She was getting confused, for she believed that friendship cannot happen through a deal, if one is destined to be friends they become friends.
While Anamika was confused and tried to make sense of the whole thing, the head of operation tried to reach her and hold her hand. She managed to dodge him. She was now feeling scared as now she was able to understand what this man meant. She opened her mouth to clarify the 'misunderstanding' and he immediately interrupted her and asked her to speak only in English and not to make sudden movement like she had done to dodge him. After all the driver could see and he would understand if she spoke in Hindi. Aah! The driver. Anamika suddenly felt a bit relieved. This man would not attempt anything till the driver was around, after all the head of operations was married with kids.. He had a 'reputation' to 'protect'.
With this knowledge she became a bit bold and managed to keep the head of operations at bay. Once they reached the place of meeting, she felt more confident & secure and had a plan in place. When the head of operations was not looking, she called one of her friends asking her to call her back exactly in 30 mins.
When the friend called back she posed as if something has gone horribly wrong at another place where a part of the work of the same client was being carried out. So, she requested the head of operations to 'tackle' the rest of the meeting here & that she needs to rush to the other place immediately. The head of operations had no option but to fall in line with her plan.
She ran from the place like she had just seen a ghost and thanked God for sending the driver as an angel whose presence helped her come out of the situation unscratched and wiser.
Through the rest of the execution of the order she managed to maintain a safe distance from the head of operation or meet him only when there were more people around.
Once the project got over, she unofficially spoke to her boss about the whole thing. The boss immediately understood her problem and moved her away from the account. Yes, she lost a very prestigious account but her santity and respect was more important.
What saddened me in this whole story was that Anamika had to be penalised without any fault of her. The whole incident was so situational that no one could actually make a complain about the head of operation. He went Scot free, free to harass some other innocent girl!
A girl when she works hard to rise in her career there are such people she has to encounter who are ready to pull her down or if she does not want to give up, she needs to go through them. So very unfair. Will this ever change, I wonder!
Many have had first hand experience & the lucky few have just heard stories. Sometimes, life throws you in tricky situations yet gets you out scratch free.
Recently, I came across the story of a girl who had a brush with sexual exploitation.
The story goes....
Anamika had recently joined the corporate world after her MBA. Like every other enthusiastic fresher, she plunged into the new world with full vigour & excitement.
Her job was client servicing & business development.
She, within few months had impressed her seniors with her diligence & work. Therefore, to encourage her & to use her potential to the maximum, the company gave her a very prestigious client to handle. All was going smooth & things were looking up for her.
One fine day she managed to get a big project from the high profile client. The head of operations at the client end seemed to be a nice & helpful person. He was very encouraging & that gave Anamika more confidence to push her companies case infront of the head operations. Anamika's hard work & diligence paid & she got the project. Her happiness knew no bounds.
But, the happiness was short lived. The coordination involved in the new project was very complicated & tiresome. Suddenly the client seemed non-cooperative. The client pre-poned the deadline of delivery & that put lot of stress on Anamika & her company.
With the help of the seniors in her company she devised a plan to workout the whole thing & deliver the project by the preponed deadline. The head of operations at the client end was kept in loop. Anamika had to go for an important meeting in relation to the project and that is when the head operations offered his help & said that he would accompany her to the meeting. This was a big help for Anamika as a man with so many years of experience would always add weight to her case.
The place of meeting was almost at the outskirts of the city, so, the head of operations conveyed that he would pick her up & they could go together in his car for the meeting.
At the designated time the head of operations picked her up and they set out to a long drive to the place of meeting.
Anamika was by now used to the constant frown & disapproving look from the head of operation but was in for a surprise today. She felt a sense of relief to see the smiling & chatty mood of the Head of operation.
The head of operation started asking Anamika about her life in the city & her background. Slowly his questions turned more personal and he started questioning her about her 'close' friends, boyfriends, her take on physical intimacy etc. She started getting very uncomfortable about the discussion but was unable to find a way to change the topic or express her discomfort/displeasure. Her non-decisiveness encouraged him further & he started talking about him & her and telling her that they should become 'closer' friends. He went on to add that he likes talking to her & would continue to 'help' her if she would agree to be his 'friend'.
She was getting confused, for she believed that friendship cannot happen through a deal, if one is destined to be friends they become friends.
While Anamika was confused and tried to make sense of the whole thing, the head of operation tried to reach her and hold her hand. She managed to dodge him. She was now feeling scared as now she was able to understand what this man meant. She opened her mouth to clarify the 'misunderstanding' and he immediately interrupted her and asked her to speak only in English and not to make sudden movement like she had done to dodge him. After all the driver could see and he would understand if she spoke in Hindi. Aah! The driver. Anamika suddenly felt a bit relieved. This man would not attempt anything till the driver was around, after all the head of operations was married with kids.. He had a 'reputation' to 'protect'.
With this knowledge she became a bit bold and managed to keep the head of operations at bay. Once they reached the place of meeting, she felt more confident & secure and had a plan in place. When the head of operations was not looking, she called one of her friends asking her to call her back exactly in 30 mins.
When the friend called back she posed as if something has gone horribly wrong at another place where a part of the work of the same client was being carried out. So, she requested the head of operations to 'tackle' the rest of the meeting here & that she needs to rush to the other place immediately. The head of operations had no option but to fall in line with her plan.
She ran from the place like she had just seen a ghost and thanked God for sending the driver as an angel whose presence helped her come out of the situation unscratched and wiser.
Through the rest of the execution of the order she managed to maintain a safe distance from the head of operation or meet him only when there were more people around.
Once the project got over, she unofficially spoke to her boss about the whole thing. The boss immediately understood her problem and moved her away from the account. Yes, she lost a very prestigious account but her santity and respect was more important.
What saddened me in this whole story was that Anamika had to be penalised without any fault of her. The whole incident was so situational that no one could actually make a complain about the head of operation. He went Scot free, free to harass some other innocent girl!
A girl when she works hard to rise in her career there are such people she has to encounter who are ready to pull her down or if she does not want to give up, she needs to go through them. So very unfair. Will this ever change, I wonder!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Past Imperfect!
Past, has most of the time, brought a smile on my face. I cherish my memories of the 'good old days'...
I used to wonder, how will it be, to be able to relive/re-experience the past.
Then came along social networking sites like Orkut & FB.
Soon, there was a flood of know/some-what known faces.
A lot of 'networking' on social networking sites later, I got back in touch with many of my old friends (some foes too, but thats a different story & will come back to it later)... Many, I would have never found, but for the social networking sites.
Many 'conversations' followed. Chats, mails, sms, phone calls... Distance suddenly became immaterial. I entered my past with gay abandmonment, to relive it all over again.....
But, life is all about moving on... The initial euphoria died its own death. The friends remain & will for ever but, the equations have changed.
It is sometime difficult to take in that friends who were so close once, have become aquintence. Some, surface only when it's time to wish on an occassion. Few, don't even do that!
Let's stay in touch, I guess has become the most common, never followed line.
Yet, there is a silver lining.
I used to wonder, how will it be, to be able to relive/re-experience the past.
Then came along social networking sites like Orkut & FB.
Soon, there was a flood of know/some-what known faces.
A lot of 'networking' on social networking sites later, I got back in touch with many of my old friends (some foes too, but thats a different story & will come back to it later)... Many, I would have never found, but for the social networking sites.
Many 'conversations' followed. Chats, mails, sms, phone calls... Distance suddenly became immaterial. I entered my past with gay abandmonment, to relive it all over again.....
But, life is all about moving on... The initial euphoria died its own death. The friends remain & will for ever but, the equations have changed.
It is sometime difficult to take in that friends who were so close once, have become aquintence. Some, surface only when it's time to wish on an occassion. Few, don't even do that!
Let's stay in touch, I guess has become the most common, never followed line.
Yet, there is a silver lining.
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Whom does Bombay belong to?
'Aamchi Mumbai' is a very old term know to ALL who have ever lived or been to the city called Bombay.
I love the city and have spent some wonderful years living & working in the city. Bombay belongs to me... Most definitely it does.. But some say NO.
Some recent, politically motivated acts have created unnecessary discussions on, whom does Bombay belong to?
I was never good in History but have some basic knowledge in its right place.
So, I know that Bombay was once a clutter of seven islands, disconnected from each other.
The earliest inhabitants of the place were a community called 'Kolis', a fishing community. So, the kolis are the 'original' natives of Bombay & the city is theirs!
During 3rd century BCE, the place was ruled by 'Maurya Empire'. The kingdom originates from Magadh (modern Bihar, eastern Uttar Pradesh and Bengal)with it's capital at Patliputra (modern Patna). So, the next claimants to the city are the very people who are being asked to leave Bombay, the Biharis & UPiets.!. By the way during the Magadh empire, art, culture, development of city as Hindu & budhist centre started to take root.
The city was later taken over by 'Sihara dynasty'. What little I know of the dynasty, points that they originated from Southern part of the country and/or outskirts of present day Maharastra. So, South India has a claim on the city too.
Around 14th Century, the city went under islamic rule, the 'Gujurat Sultanate', with there base in Ahemedabad. During this period the Haji Ali mosque was built. So, Gujurati's have a claim on the city too.
Later, through a treaty, the city came under Portuguese rule & then under English rule. The economic & infrastructural development were the highlights of the city in 19th Century when it was under the British rule. We all our aware of the first railway line laid between Bombay & Thane. This was the period when the foundation of Bombay becoming a business hub was laid. Many business men from Kutch, Sind, Gujurat got attracted to the city. The reclaiming of land from the sea to join the seven island also happened during British rule. So, Britishers have a big role in making the city what it is today.
The presence of Maratha's is noted ONLY during the independence struggle.
Post independence too, Bombay was not part of Maharastra, it was an independent state named Bombay State.
The Government buckled under pressure & in 1960, Bombay became a part of Maharastra.
Considering this background of the city, how can ANYONE claim whom the city belongs to? The whole thing seems as ridiculous as saying that Delhi belongs to UP!
Infact, it would have made perfect sense had the city been left alone as a separate state/UT.
I love the city, it is one of the best place to stay in the country, let's not spoil that. But, is anyone listening?
I love the city and have spent some wonderful years living & working in the city. Bombay belongs to me... Most definitely it does.. But some say NO.
Some recent, politically motivated acts have created unnecessary discussions on, whom does Bombay belong to?
I was never good in History but have some basic knowledge in its right place.
So, I know that Bombay was once a clutter of seven islands, disconnected from each other.
The earliest inhabitants of the place were a community called 'Kolis', a fishing community. So, the kolis are the 'original' natives of Bombay & the city is theirs!
During 3rd century BCE, the place was ruled by 'Maurya Empire'. The kingdom originates from Magadh (modern Bihar, eastern Uttar Pradesh and Bengal)with it's capital at Patliputra (modern Patna). So, the next claimants to the city are the very people who are being asked to leave Bombay, the Biharis & UPiets.!. By the way during the Magadh empire, art, culture, development of city as Hindu & budhist centre started to take root.
The city was later taken over by 'Sihara dynasty'. What little I know of the dynasty, points that they originated from Southern part of the country and/or outskirts of present day Maharastra. So, South India has a claim on the city too.
Around 14th Century, the city went under islamic rule, the 'Gujurat Sultanate', with there base in Ahemedabad. During this period the Haji Ali mosque was built. So, Gujurati's have a claim on the city too.
Later, through a treaty, the city came under Portuguese rule & then under English rule. The economic & infrastructural development were the highlights of the city in 19th Century when it was under the British rule. We all our aware of the first railway line laid between Bombay & Thane. This was the period when the foundation of Bombay becoming a business hub was laid. Many business men from Kutch, Sind, Gujurat got attracted to the city. The reclaiming of land from the sea to join the seven island also happened during British rule. So, Britishers have a big role in making the city what it is today.
The presence of Maratha's is noted ONLY during the independence struggle.
Post independence too, Bombay was not part of Maharastra, it was an independent state named Bombay State.
The Government buckled under pressure & in 1960, Bombay became a part of Maharastra.
Considering this background of the city, how can ANYONE claim whom the city belongs to? The whole thing seems as ridiculous as saying that Delhi belongs to UP!
Infact, it would have made perfect sense had the city been left alone as a separate state/UT.
I love the city, it is one of the best place to stay in the country, let's not spoil that. But, is anyone listening?
Friday, July 10, 2009
Monday, July 06, 2009
Happy & openly Gay
The reason for my happiness has nothing to do with my orientations but the thought behind it & the maturity of the decision.
I don't understand why do we have this urge to control everything, even grown up adults. Are we of the opinion that a person who can run his own business, take care of his family, can become an international success, take many important decision yet need to be policed on some basic desires & wants? Law is a mechanism to keep things civilised and in order, but the extent of the same need to be defined by us.
The high court decision on merit needs to be applauded, damn the fanatics.
The day the decision was passed I chanced to see a panel discussion on TV regarding the decision. One of the panelist, a so called guru seemed perturbed by the court decision and said something to the effect that due to this decision, human race is in danger as all would want to be with a partner of same sex (as if one is getting some special favour or perk by doing so!) and was concerned on the future of the process of reproduction! This sounded so hilarious & it became the joke of the day for me.
My lawyer cousin had come home the other day and among many things we discussed this decision too. He explained the basic crux of Article 377 & I was taken aback by something he said.
As per the article 377 one could be booked in case he/she indulged in three kind of sex viz: Anal, Oral &/or with animal. Further, the it says that the complain can be lodged by third party too. This was a shocker. Physical intimacy is a very person thing & how can law allow & consider it ok for a third person to peep into someones private space! Shouldn't such complainant booked under trespassing!
Strange are the laws of the land!!!!!
In the mean time lets rejoice for this may be just the beginning for the law getting more human! A wish of an eternal optimist!!! :)
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